The Politically Incorrect
Real Estate Agent

A Serious How-to Manual
with a Sense of Humor


This book is not about politics nor does it promote being a jerk; however, victims, wimpy-minded, and lazy people will hate it.

The Handbook is a Safe Bet

  • The Handbook is a straight shooter
    —written in a tell-it-like-it-is format.
  • The Handbook never craps out
    —always there with the right answer.
  • The Handbook is a high roller
    —value far outweighs the price.
I’ll take that bet!

The Real Estate Agent Owners Manual


This book is not like the others.

Inside, you’ll find:

  • Flow Charts
  • 100+ How-to articles—simple, step-by-step recipes
  • lots of cool pictures

And it’s funny (or at least grin-worthy). In other words, it's comprehensive and not boring.

Flow Charts

The Flow Charts show a real estate agent’s exact job. They’re located in the back of the Handbook for quick reference. The Flow Charts are an Agent Index, with cross-references galore.

I want this book!

See all 5 Flow Charts in The Handbook Gallery.

Handbook Gallery

Look inside The Handbook

See 98 pages in the Handbook Gallery.

Handbook Gallery

Choose Your Own Adventure

Each Handbook page is heavily cross-referenced. This way, the reader may delve deep into any topic by either turning the page, or by following a cross-reference. Such layout makes for easy navigation. So, you can read it from cover-to-cover, or you can choose your own real estate adventure.

I need this book!

Handbook Chapters

See 98 pages in the Handbook Gallery.

Handbook Gallery

See 98 pages in the Handbook Gallery.

Handbook Gallery

See 98 pages in the Handbook Gallery.

Handbook Gallery

Quizzes & Puzzles

The final pages of each chapter are meant to test your acumen—a quiz to challenge your comprehension of the chapter, and a real estate themed puzzle to exercise your problem solving skills. How fun!

I love this book!

The Handbook Aint No Flunky

Only a dunce would pass it up...

  • You’ll learn Prospecting—gotta find clients.
  • You’ll learn Presentations—gotta sign ’em up.
  • You’ll learn Agency—gotta get ’em to closing.

The Handbook takes you to the head of the class.

Youll Learn How-to:

  • choose a broker who fits your needs
  • capitalize on 100+ ways to meet prospects
  • pre-qualify buyers and sellers
    (so you dont waste time on duds)
  • discover what your buyers really want
  • show property and help your buyers decide
  • conduct a slam-dunk listing presentation
  • attract buyers to your listings
  • draft offers/create contracts/negotiate (including low-ball and multiple offer situations)
  • get your clients to the closing table
  • avoid commission breath and ensure you get paid
  • How-to valuate real property and pick The Right Price
  • How-to business plan/track agent stats/identify and alleviate bottlenecks
  • How-to create a niche for more income
  • How-to create and practice scripts
  • How-to create and refine systems
  • How-to banish victimhood and take charge of your real estate sales business

Plus much, much more!

Give it to me!

The Handbook Has Spirit

  • It packs a punch—full of details you can’t get elsewhere.
  • It’s funny—all the way to the closing table.
  • It’s gonna help keep you on the real estate wagon.

For less than a bottle of booze, you too can get drunk on real estate.

I’ll drink it up!

Im Peter F. Porcelli Jr.

My belief is that the client is best-served by a competent agent, and that competence is easily gained by repeated learning and doing. All agents desire success (competency), but most dont know where to begin or what to believe. Their job is complicated, but it doesnt come with an owners manual.

So, I created this recipe guide of the most common real estate agent tasks. Presented in a tell-it-like-it-is format, each chapter is based upon an area of real estate competency (as deemed by me). Throughout, the reader is encouraged to forever banish victimhood, seek validation of facts, and to be direct, but cordial in all dealings.

Wanna learn real estate while smiling? If so, this book is for you.

 The Editor

Just one tip from this book may save your next closing; thats worth more than the cover price!

 The Author

Buy this book from my Petey. Hes such a good boy.

— Granny

Real Estate Agent Handbook

Two ways, your choice:


You need this book in your life—it’s thick and full of humor. If youre serious about agenting, you should thumb it’s pages.

Buy it on Amazon

Box Set

The Handbook is included with the Box Set. Altogether, eight tools make up this real estate agent business in a box.

More Box Set

Got Questions?

Ask ’em Here